Protector, thank you for delivering me into the present moment in spite of all the drag in my past, especially the weeks and months leading-up to now. Though I feel serene, I have also lost vigor and am having trouble finding the space to re-launch. I am reaching for the perspective to transcend; I know that you have given it to me and given me peace that surpasses understanding but there is not constant happiness. I have found that I sit with my sadness, even when I let go of my attachments. I am feeling my deficits, unexplored submerged caverns in my heart. The price of letting-go is that I will not give-up. Lord, put air in my chest. Help me to breath in and out again. Please come down to my level and sit with me in this time so I can learn from you. Do not let me be tempted by fear, perfection, drugs (literal & metaphorical), rage, or any other false comfort that would fill those places. Map my places and teach me to be friends to this sensation. Teach me the meaning of a steady love when my heart is restless.
There are so many more things in life worth learning. Make my eyes young again so that I can look upon the world in wonder. Make my ears old so I can listen with discernment. Make my nose... nothing more or less than it is! Just let me smell spring, summer, fall, and the essence of people close by. Let me smell every beautiful thing and taste wonderful food. Let me feel and be hugged. Bring me inextricably into the present tonight and speak to me. I will always be less than you but with you I never need to be deficient.
Amen.
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