The Second Prayer

The First Prayer for the Second Chapter:

Oh my Nurturer, I am crying out to you without reservation. I am not a super-hero and never have been. Even Jesus retreated to draw strength from you but I have dwelt close to the fire for too long. I am parched and there are so many miles and checkpoints between Bethlehem and the well in Nablus, where He offered your living water to the Samaritan woman. I miss the waters of my homeland, the contemplation of the Grand River and the comfort of Thumb Lake—even the cold invigoration of Lake Michigan.

I know that I have so many lessons to learn but I pray that you would give me the wisdom to submit and let go, even though I have forgotten the meaning of submission. I have grown as hard as the plains of اريحا [Jericho] because I live an existence of only resistance. At any moment, I will read about how your loved-ones are abused, disenfranchised, and defamed abroad. Whenever I move from one place to another, I am reminded that my relationship with Palestine can come to an end. Every time a jet flies over-head, I remember that I could be obliterated by Israel or its enemies.

Send a final wave of شباط rain, and teach me to appreciate my softening. Send شباط one time more and this time I will not blame you or the blessed month of شباط again since your waters have come to the land. Like the sting of disinfectant, you sent these times to prepare me for the healing to come. Bring the sweet scent back to اريحا . Give me الاريه الصيف to sustain me (I’m praying from my heart and that’s what came out) through this stormy weather that must occur to bring the harvest this Autumn.

But I confess that I do not know how; I am trying too hard under my own power. I need your gifts. I need time to recover. I need your very presence. I need to find a devotion that comes from affection, not piousness. I need to find a way to remember you in true worship, not with an end in mind. Draw my attention away from even the imperfections of my prayer. Bring me out of my over-thinking and help me to accept that I am beautiful even when I am imperfect and that I am responsible for my part, not for the outcomes. Most of all, comfort me during those count-intuitive moments where I feel like I have no reason to feel tired because I have not done enough.

I am so foolish Lord: I am tired from watching this conflict and NOT having something to do. I have the tiredness not of someone running but of someone on crutches, wondering when he will be able to do enough again. Please, take me away... please call me to the Sea. If there is any power in homelands, help me to find it this March in Ireland – and fill my heart with even more energy for this mission.

7 before 9/11

As many around the world know, tomorrow is September Eleventh, 2011: the tenth anniversary of what was indeed a tragic event for the city of New York and its families. Many writers, thinkers and other people with sensitive hearts are going to take the opportunity to grapple with the real hurt caused that day. Too few will grapple with what caused that extremist group's desperate act or the hurt that drove those men to join it. As my co-workers at Wi'am know, despair makes young people vulnerable to joining radical factions.

Remembering 9/11 as a special-event bothers me because I believe that the United States continued the cycle of brokenness~ that terrorism, itself, won when someone hung a euphamistic name like "Enduring Freedom" on a foreign invasion. Forget justification: something so ugly should be called by an ugly name. Healing can be ugly, true, but I notice that Afghanistan was not 'fixed' by this invasion. Guns were not built for healing.

Because I want to shed my skin, I am not going to encourage anyone to forget 9/11 and rant about how disappointed I am in the United States or, indeed, start comparing that singular tragedy with the on-going injustices that get far too little recognition--that's too easy. Instead, I want to give you seven dates to remember before 9/11. Just some events that sprung to my mind...

7. April 19th, 1995 -- The Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building is destroyed by a domestic terrorist act in Oklahoma City. The loss of life was less but the impact on the city and families there is unmistakable.

6. August 29th, 2005 -- Hurricane Katrina makes second land-fall along the gulf coast. The New Orleans levy system fails, resulting in the costliest natural disaster in United States History to that point. Over a thousand people died in the hurricane and subsequent floods.

5. September 19, 1931 -- The Empire of Japan invades Manchuria. I bring this up to make a point. I will allow you to decide what that point is.

4. January 30, 1933 -- In the wake of economic downturn, Germany finds a new leading party: the Nazi party; Hitler becomes chancellor. (Bonus: 05/15/48 ~ sad day?)

3. May 28, 1830 -- The Indian Removal act is passed, just as President Jackson called for in a previous speech (why is he on our money?). Tens of thousands of people were forced to relocate from their homes while others appropriated their land, permanently. If you think this is a 19th Century phenomena, come visit the West Bank...

2. August 9th, 1945 -- Nagasaki. 3 days? That's all? Ruin an entire city and then wreck another one with only three days between? It makes me sick...

1. August 6th, 1945 -- On this day, a U.S. manufactured nuclear weapon was detonated on the Japanese city of Hiroshima. Thousands died instantly and many more suffered from radiation fall-out in the months following. To this day, people from near that area are known to suffer from more frequent genetic defects. The United States of American redefined the way that the world measures destruction on this day.

Weigh Hiroshima (and Nagasaki, for God's sake) against 9/11 for just a moment~ initial impact, residual impact, the amount of power exerted and the lingering ramifications for life on this planet. Just do it.