The Sixth Prayer

First Prayer for the Sixth Chapter:

Great Guide, I cannot live in a vacuum no matter how hard I try. Things happen to me that are outside of my control. I fail to counter things within my control, sometimes. I fail to build my practices in a way that helps me. When all of these combine, I experience setbacks. At times I choose to feel despair. Other times, I choose to be angry and form a plan. Still more times, I try to continue in whatever vein that I was in, ignoring my slide. I need Your help, God.

I need you to turn my eyes toward my dysfunctions but, at the same time, to train me in new ways to relate to myself. My coping has become dysfunction, as well, and it drives me further and further into this bog. Release me from the muck and show me a new way that I have not thought about before. Teach me to embrace pain as it comes, neither in masochism nor avoidance. Teach me to give myself room to be human without becoming hedonic or apathetic. Teach me to relate to others with kindness and clarity but to be free of their opinions so I can act from a patient heart. Help me never to fear a burned bridge but to avoid carrying torches with me. Give me the strength to do what is necessary but never the mentality of power.

And let something good happen today. Let me be happy about life! Let me forgive myself for what I have done wrong but also walk away from my sins and frustrations. Help me to face the darkness and pass through to the other side, not dwell there eternally or try to run toward the sunset every waking moment. Most of all, draw me closer to you again with open arms. Let me be a saved sheep, a found coin, and a beloved prodigal.

I love you but not nearly enough,

Daniel X.